Bingo Questions Answered! Plus, Reading Update From the Empty Nest

 

 

Hello, February!

 

I wanted to update you all on my progress through my midlife crisis. Both of my children departed the nest last month and journeyed to their sub-optimal Covid-era college situations. That’s right – my nest has no tiny birds in it anymore! Most of the time, I am happy to celebrate my lack of responsibility by having potato chips and bourbon for dinner while watching movies from the 80s. Also, Midlife Crisis Bingo has helped. 

 

 

Speaking of which, I appreciate that so many of you are Bingo-curious! Many of you have contacted me in an effort to clarify the rules. Here are a few examples:

 

1)    Can I read cookbooks?

2)    Can I read children’s literature?

3)    Can I read comic books?

4)    Can I read art books?

5)    Can I read sports books?

6)    Can I read really short books?

 

My answer to all of these things is YES! Read whatever the heck you want. Everything goes. There is no such thing as the Bingo Police. 

 

But hold up, my life partner just told me that I am a liar. When he asked me if he could read one book this year and put it in every single square, I said no. “Isn’t that a rule?” he asked, smugly. I have since made a set of punitive rules specifically for him. Moreover, I am making him fill out a nightly reading log and do a plot summary of each book he reads if he wants to get an A in Bingo. 

 

For the rest of you, I want to show you how most things that I read will naturally find their way to a square, especially in these early months. Here are the books I read in January. I will show you which squares (descriptions of squares are here) they could possibly inhabit. 

 

You can print this card here

 

Eat a Peach by David Chang: This is a memoir by the creator of the Momofuku restaurant in NYC. He discusses a variety of things, including what it’s like to be an Asian American restaurant chef in a historically white arena; the role of creativity in the restaurant business; and his own struggles with mental illness. Squares where this book could work for me: Spring Chicken; Hero and Sidekick; Free to Be You and Me; Life Unlike Your Own; Delicious; Truth Be Told.

One Grave Too Many by Beverly Connor: I have been kvetching a bit about reading too many books with too little plot, so I decided to have a plot sundae with all the toppings. I have a soft spot for police procedurals with female forensic detectives at the helm, and I found an old series that is new to me! This is the first book in the series. The main character is a specialist in mass graves who decides to exchange that depressing career for a gentler one in a natural history museum. Murdered bodies turn up anyway. Good times! Squares where this book could work for me: Free to Be You and Me; Most Comfortable Sweatpants; Get a Clue.

Interior Chinatown by Charles Yu: This book won the 2020 National Book Award. Most of the narrative is in the form of a screenplay. The main character, Willis Wu, is an actor of Taiwanese descent. He is limited by the very few roles available to Asian and Asian American actors, roles that blur ethnicities into stereotypes. Underneath the story about film roles is the story about the actual roles that immigrants from Asian countries and Asian Americans fill in American society and the ways that structural racism constrains those roles. Squares where this book could work for me: Spring Chicken; Made It Big; Free to Be You and Me; Life Unlike Your Own; Hot Topic. 

 

The Year of Living Danishly: My Twelve Months of Unearthing the Secrets of the World’s Happiest Country by Helen Russell: This British author and her husband move for a year to a seaside house in rural Denmark and contemplate why the people they meet claim to be so happy. They encounter all sorts of unfamiliar and kooky Danish traditions. She also finds herself confronting the deep and vast state reach into its citizens' lives -- which is so supportive (education; health care; work/life balance promotion) and also constraining (taxes; rules). Squares where this book could work for me: Spring Chicken; The Great Escape; Long Trip; Free to Be You and Me; Life Unlike Your Own; I Wonder; Side Splitter.

 

Oona Out of Order by Margarita Montimore: This is a light, breezy version of a time travel novel. In it, the main character lives her life jumping between years, all out of order. You could go deep and ask questions about whether you’d want to change events if you already knew the outcome, or you could just let easy books stay easy. Squares where this book could work for me: Spring Chicken; Out of Time; Free to Be You and Me. 

 

Foreign Affairs by Alison Lurie: This novel won the Pulitzer Prize in 1985, and I first read it in 1993. So this was a second go-round for me. The story focuses on two American professors as they embark on a sabbatical in London. It’s about roles and faking and hiding and acting and obscuring and crafting an image of yourself based on expectations. Squares where this book could work for me: Long Trip; Made It Big; Free to Be You and Me; Always Meant To.

 

The Magical Language of Others by E.J. Koh: This was an intensely powerful memoir of a Korean American young woman whose parents left her to fend for herself at age 14. She connects her personal experience of this trauma with the long history of trauma of her female relatives in Korea. This history alternates with actual letters her mother sent her during their separation. The letters are in multiple languages, and she explains how translation became part of her sense-making of her place in her own story. Squares where this book could work for me: Spring Chicken; Might Sting a Little; Free to Be You and Me; Truth Be Told.

See how easy Bingo is? Don’t overthink it. Just play! Please tell us about what you’re reading and which square(s) the book might fulfill. 

 

I will end by sharing one final question from a reader: What do I get if I do this? 

 

First of all, I appreciate your mercenary approach to Bingo. I’m guessing you want a pony. Unfortunately, I can’t afford postage on a pony. But if you play along, you might get some good conversation. You might make a new friend. You’ll get some camaraderie during a time of isolation. And one lucky whole-card-finishing participant will win a book at the end of the year. It might even be a book about ponies.

2021 Midlife Crisis Bingo

Hello, old bloggy friends! It’s been a while since I’ve written here, and I’m still working out what I’m going to do with this blog going forward. But speaking of old, I had a milestone birthday last year that didn’t get the attention it deserved because of the pandemic. I’m moving the birthday celebration to a later date, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t incorporate this Big Moment into my 2021 reading goals. I hope you’ll join me.

 

So, ta-da! I’ve created a Midlife Crisis Bingo game! If you’re not in midlife, or if you’re not experiencing a crisis, that’s OK. You can play anyway. To you, this will just be Bingo. Regular, age-doesn’t-matter, life-is-normal Bingo. I’m only a little bit jealous of you, but I will tuck that in. The whole point is to read together and talk about books together. I’ll update along the way with what books I’m using to complete the squares, and I’d love for you to do that, too. And if you complete your whole Bingo card, let me know, and I’ll enter you into a drawing to WIN a FREE BOOK at the end of the year. Reading buddies, good times, free books – what could be better? (OK, I acknowledge that there are lots of things that would be better – worry-free travel for one. Faith in our political leadership would be another. An end to the plague would also be nice. But all I can give you is Bingo. Sorry.)

 

The rules:

 

1)    Read books, following the topics however you interpret them. You can print out the card here.

2)    Share what you’re reading periodically if you want – I’ll have blog posts where you can talk about your reading life in the comments, or you can share your experiences on the Leaning Stack of Books Facebook page.

3)    Once you’ve completed a row, let us all know. We will clap for you!

4)    At the end of the year, if you’ve filled your whole square, you can enter a drawing to get a free book delivered to your home. It will be a good book.

5)    There are no more rules.

 

Here are the topics on the card:

 

Spring Chicken:

 

Kids these days are fresh and creative, and they help you solve your problems connecting to the internet. The world is in good hands. Read a book by an author younger than you are. (For many of us, this should be an easy task!)

 

Out of Time:

 

It seems like just yesterday that you were a teenager waiting impatiently for the thrill of adulthood. Now the sink is backed up, there’s a stack of bills to pay, and the child you’ve been nurturing all these years with your love and energy just called you “Karen” when you asked him to put his dirty socks in the hamper.

 

Today is kind of a bummer. Take this opportunity to read something about a time long ago. Or read about the future. Or both.

 

Group Dynamics:

 

You never get the front seat. There are so many secrets. Why didn’t she/he/they love you the way you deserve to be loved? You can’t stand to be apart, and you can’t stand to be together. Read a book about group life that makes you feel less alone, or one that reminds you about why you actually enjoy quarantine.

 

Buckle Up:

 

Sometimes the way forward involves crossing difficult terrain. Read a book that challenges you, or makes you look something difficult in the eye, or asks you to do hard work.

 

Impulse Buy:

 

Grab that book that you bought and then just left on your nightstand to gather dust. Make it one that has been on the stack for a long time, like a monument to your bad decisions.

 

Most Comfortable Sweatpants:

 

Sometimes you know what’s right for you. You have a great lane, and you should stay there. Read a book that is exactly the kind of book you love.

 

Might Sting a Little:

 

You carry your pain like a boulder in your backpack, wield it like a weapon, hide with it, nurture it, sleep with it, obsess over it, swallow it. Read a book about the human body and its capacity for hurt and healing, or a book about sticks and stones that broke some bones, or one about words that hurt. Or maybe read a book about a cure for what ails us. We sure need it!

 

Vintage:

 

Who’s calling you old? You are just getting started, baby. Take a moment to notice that having a midlife crisis is actually the luxury of a person with many years ahead! To put your age in perspective, read a book that was published before you were born.

 

The Great Escape:

 

So far, the new year feels like the last one. Time to read a book that is a great escape, or is about a great escape, or meaningfully interrogates the possibility of escape.

 

Long Trip:

 

Are we there yet? Come on, you are old enough to know that life is not all about the destination. Read a book that takes you on a ride or one that feels like a journey.

 

Made It Big:

 

Find a book that won a prize. Imagine that you actually wrote something that was recognized in that way, and feel the jealousy slide down your back like sweat in an awkward moment. But come on, now. You have done many wonderful things. Plus, you might win Midlife Crisis Bingo!

 

Hero and Sidekick:

 

Getting older makes you think about whether you’ve been the star of your own show. It might be time to become the hero, to put on your Big Girl Cape and make things happen. On the other hand, sidekicks are often played by character actors who have long and meaningful careers without needing to resort to cheek implants or drug addictions to get by. Maybe there’s value in a life in the shadows, where you have space away from the public gaze. Find a book about heroes, or about the person behind the scenes that makes everything work, or a book about a dynamic duo.

 

Free to Be You and Me:

 

For this square, read whatever you want. No one can tell you what to do. But wait…Is there really such a thing as a “free square?” Does freedom really exist? Who has it and why? How has the idea evolved? Will you lose it? Will you keep others from having it?

 

Life Unlike Your Own:

 

You have been staring at your own walls for the better part of the past year. Now is the time to look at someone else’s walls or walk in their shoes or wrestle their demons or eat the French fries off their plate.

 

Hot Topic:

 

You are not too old to put on your fancy pants and join the club. Everybody’s talking about it. Read the book, and find out what the fuss is all about.

 

Old Love:

 

Oh man, you know you can’t go back. Or can you?

 

Always Meant To:

 

Find a book you always meant to read or read again. The book is a reminder that you don’t follow through. So follow through! No more woulda, coulda, shoulda for this reader.

 

Delicious:

 

Put some flavor back in your life. You are still so mad that you couldn’t go to a fancy restaurant to celebrate your milestone birthday, and you’ve had the same takeout Thai food every week since March. You’ve eaten your way through the apocalypse food stash you built as the pandemic hit (Pringles!), and now everything is so boring. Make life taste better. Read that delicious thing.

 

I Wonder:

 

Have you wanted to be a better voter or sound worldly at cocktail parties or impress your friends or win at Trivial Pursuit or learn something about that topic whose class you stupidly slept through in college? Read a book that helps you be the smart guy in the room.

 

Get a Clue:

 

It’s time to figure this sh*t out before it’s too late. Read a book where you solve the problem, put the pieces together, or discover how one thing leads to another.

 

Out of Your Zone:

 

Read a book that makes you feel off-balance. It might turn out like that time that you did a high-ropes course in the 1990s, only to find out as you were dangling from a tree that you don’t like ropes or heights. But it also could change your life. Either way, you get a Bingo square before you return to bingeing Netflix. Win!

 

Side Splitter:

 

2020 was no joke. It’s time for some funny business! What kind of book makes you snort? Go find that. Or read a book about someone who had the last laugh.

 

Animal Magnetism:

 

It’s time to address the elephant in the room: you’re not getting any younger. You may try to weasel out of acknowledging your true age, but you know the cat is out of the bag. It’s probably time to get control of those vices before things completely go to the dogs. But hold your horses! Don’t despair! You don’t have to give up your rock n’ roll lifestyle cold turkey. Just slow down a bit.

 

Read a book about creatures great or small, real or imagined, or maybe about the wild animal in you. Get to it, crazy beast!

 

Outside:

 

You know that the nature will make you feel better, except you have a Zoom meeting at 9, 11, and 3. Let this book take you to a stunning place – feel it on your skin or between your toes. Or maybe the book will remind you that your couch is a lovely place to be after all.

 

Truth Be Told:

 

Does anyone tell the truth anymore? Can you believe what you read? This era has tested our ability to trust. Find a book where someone tells their truth, or find a book about lies, or one about secrets – or maybe a book that shows the value in multiple perspectives. And now that you’re getting older, what’s your truth? Could you ever share it? Would you?

 

 

Happy New Year, everyone! I look forward to spending this next one with you. Ready, set, GO!