Midlife Crisis Bingo Recap: Spring Chicken

I hope you all had a good Groundhog Day. I sure did. I appreciate the fact that so many of you were inspired to send me groundhog related photos and videos, though that means that you were screwing around on the internet rather than reading. Put down your phone (after reading this post, of course), and pick up your book!

 

It’s time for us to begin our 2021 Midlife Crisis Bingo wrap-up. As promised, I will share my recently completed Bingo card. I wrestled a bit with how to do this wrap-up, and I’ve decided to do many short posts rather than just a few expansive ones. I wouldn’t want us to have to strain our eyes or to stop looking at TikTok for too long. Today’s post is the first one on my card: Spring Chicken.

 

The category description: Kids these days are fresh and creative, and they help you solve your problems connecting to the internet. The world is in good hands. Read a book by an author younger than you are. (For many of us, this should be an easy task!)

 

Doesn’t it bug you just a little bit when you see young people getting their writing done and getting published and acquiring literary fame and fortune? I am bugged. And I get just a little judgy. I mean, what do these youngsters really have to say?

 

It turns out that they have quite a lot to say. For this square, I read Beautiful Country, a memoir by Qian Julie Wang. Wang details her years as an undocumented Chinese child in New York City in the 1990s. It is a visceral account of deep poverty, hunger, illness without insurance, experiences in American public schools, threats, aspiration, defeat, and resilience. If you’re one of those people who is drawn to stories about the power of books and reading, you’ll find that theme here. Wang’s reading life plays a big part in her development.

 

I generally don’t love memoirs by very young people because of my aforementioned judginess, but I thought this one was terrific.  I was an adult in the 1990s and remember the decade well, so it was interesting to think about this child’s experiences in parallel time.

 

Feeling like you have missed your moment is a hallmark of a good midlife crisis. So in a way, being jealous of younger writers makes me a success in midlife crisis-ing. Win! For fun, I just searched for people who published their first book after 50, and here are some notable ones: Raymond Chandler (The Big Sleep), Frank McCourt (Angela’s Ashes), and Anna Sewell (Black Beauty). And here’s a fun 2018 article from LitHub on “late bloomers.”

Speaking of being older than very accomplished people, I have been watching the Olympics this week while eating Pringles on the couch. I find myself looking at the parents of the athletes and recognizing my generation there. Hello, peers! Those lessons you dragged your children to in 2010 have really paid off. My kids were very busy assembling trash into works of art at that time. Too bad there's not a gold medal for freestyle mess making. 

 

Also, a note to the 30-year-old athletes that the announcers keep burying (“It’s the end of the road for him!”), you do have many more years of good times left. Don’t worry.

January Roundup! Plus, Midlife Crisis Bingo Is Done Even If The Midlife Crisis Continues

 

(Happy Groundhog Day tomorrow. For $14.99, you could acquire this special sign. Yay, rodents!)

January was a rough month for me. The endlessness of COVID and its reach into my life – with remote work and school, the ongoing should I/shouldn’t I about travel and recreation, and general worry – have been exhausting. Mostly, though, I have been flattened by the larger conversation about how we (won’t) take care of each other and our communities.

 

Also, it turns out that we Americans are pretty gung-ho about banning books right now, which is spirit-crushing. I’m not sure how we developed a new comfort with broadly restricting information and having limits on our access to ideas, but all of our alarm bells should be ringing. This isn’t just an isolated occurrence happening in “other places.” Just the other day, I was reading an article on the Book Riot site, and I was needled by the name of a middle school principal with a book removal agenda. I searched through my email, and sure enough, she was my student once upon a time. I take it she wasn’t excited by our class discussion about education as the practice of freedom? Fortunately, Viet Thanh Nguyen (the author of The Sympathizer, which won the Pulitzer Prize in 2016) provided some balm with his recent New York Times editorial about the role that reading “inappropriate” things has played in his life. 

 

Clearly, I was distracted last month, and that made me an antsy reader. Do you also have a problem with checking your phone while reading? I need to get that under control. I started and stopped several novels, but in the end, I grumpily finished six books:

 

Of these, I probably enjoyed A Salad Only the Devil Would Eat: The Joys of Ugly Nature the most. It’s a collection of essays about the interactions between humans and nature, and ultimately about unlikely beauty. And it's funny! It turns out that I really need funny these days.

 

But most importantly, I finished my 2021 Leaning Stack of Books Midlife Crisis Bingo Card. Woo! I took the full month extension to make my way through those final two squares, so hooray to me for meeting my own deadline:

 

 

This month I will be discussing my Bingo-ing and what I’ve learned through this midlife crisis. I hope you join me! You can see the category descriptions here and generate your own card here. Please share how far you got into the process or why your midlife crisis prevented you from reading or even why you hate Bingo. Remember – it’s ok if you just did one square or one row. It’s also ok if you read nothing. But if you did finish your card, let me know. One lucky reader is going to get a free book!

 

I will leave you with the opportunity to watch Chunk the Groundhog’s compilation video. Chunk and his furry family eat vegetables at a picnic table. Sound up for maximum enjoyment! Or actually, better yet, put down your phone and read your book. 

 

New Year, Same Old Stuff; Also, Bingo Extension!

 

Happy New Year! I guess? Is it a new year? I am back on the couch, school is remote for now, and the internet makes me angry. So much seems stuck, and I am losing confidence in the idea that we are going to turn this ship around.

 

HOWEVER! I did regain my reading mojo last year, and I’m looking forward to discussing that with you here. In particular, I’ve been on a dive into books about solitude and the creative life. My nest is empty (except for right now. Winter break + Omicron = lots of people in the crowded house), and that has been weird and sad and also satisfying in ways I hadn’t expected.

 

I’ve been keeping track of my reading on Goodreads, so feel free to follow me there, too. I know I used to do long reviews on this blog, but those took forever to write and became less and less fun over time. I’m considering writing different kinds of essays here instead.

 

So what’s next? Santa Claus showed up in a big way this year (masked, fully vaxxed, boosted!) and I’m eager to jump into this new leaning stack. 

 

But first we have some unfinished business, don’t we? Last year, I introduced Midlife Crisis Bingo, and I recently sat down to see how I did. It turns out that I need an extension. You, too? Great. Let’s take an extra month to get this done (You can see category descriptions here and see the FAQs here and print out your own card here).

 

My intention: Starting February 1, I will walk through my own Bingo card with you. I’m completing the whole card, but remember that you’re a winner no matter what. You only read one book? That’s fantastic! A row? Hearty congrats! Two rows? Let’s celebrate! The beauty of Midlife Crisis Bingo is that you are always good enough. But if you do finish the card, post a photo below in the comments or on The Leaning Stack of Books Facebook page. One lucky winner is going to get a prize (A book! Woop!).

 

Until then, it looks like have two squares to go:

 

Vintage:

 

Who’s calling you old? You are just getting started, baby. Take a moment to notice that having a midlife crisis is actually the luxury of a person with many years ahead! To put your age in perspective, read a book that was published before you were born.

 

 

Old Love:

 

Oh man, you know you can’t go back. Or can you?

 

 

I’m excited to reconnect with you all, bookish friends. Onward to 2022!

Bingo Questions Answered! Plus, Reading Update From the Empty Nest

 

 

Hello, February!

 

I wanted to update you all on my progress through my midlife crisis. Both of my children departed the nest last month and journeyed to their sub-optimal Covid-era college situations. That’s right – my nest has no tiny birds in it anymore! Most of the time, I am happy to celebrate my lack of responsibility by having potato chips and bourbon for dinner while watching movies from the 80s. Also, Midlife Crisis Bingo has helped. 

 

 

Speaking of which, I appreciate that so many of you are Bingo-curious! Many of you have contacted me in an effort to clarify the rules. Here are a few examples:

 

1)    Can I read cookbooks?

2)    Can I read children’s literature?

3)    Can I read comic books?

4)    Can I read art books?

5)    Can I read sports books?

6)    Can I read really short books?

 

My answer to all of these things is YES! Read whatever the heck you want. Everything goes. There is no such thing as the Bingo Police. 

 

But hold up, my life partner just told me that I am a liar. When he asked me if he could read one book this year and put it in every single square, I said no. “Isn’t that a rule?” he asked, smugly. I have since made a set of punitive rules specifically for him. Moreover, I am making him fill out a nightly reading log and do a plot summary of each book he reads if he wants to get an A in Bingo. 

 

For the rest of you, I want to show you how most things that I read will naturally find their way to a square, especially in these early months. Here are the books I read in January. I will show you which squares (descriptions of squares are here) they could possibly inhabit. 

 

You can print this card here

 

Eat a Peach by David Chang: This is a memoir by the creator of the Momofuku restaurant in NYC. He discusses a variety of things, including what it’s like to be an Asian American restaurant chef in a historically white arena; the role of creativity in the restaurant business; and his own struggles with mental illness. Squares where this book could work for me: Spring Chicken; Hero and Sidekick; Free to Be You and Me; Life Unlike Your Own; Delicious; Truth Be Told.

One Grave Too Many by Beverly Connor: I have been kvetching a bit about reading too many books with too little plot, so I decided to have a plot sundae with all the toppings. I have a soft spot for police procedurals with female forensic detectives at the helm, and I found an old series that is new to me! This is the first book in the series. The main character is a specialist in mass graves who decides to exchange that depressing career for a gentler one in a natural history museum. Murdered bodies turn up anyway. Good times! Squares where this book could work for me: Free to Be You and Me; Most Comfortable Sweatpants; Get a Clue.

Interior Chinatown by Charles Yu: This book won the 2020 National Book Award. Most of the narrative is in the form of a screenplay. The main character, Willis Wu, is an actor of Taiwanese descent. He is limited by the very few roles available to Asian and Asian American actors, roles that blur ethnicities into stereotypes. Underneath the story about film roles is the story about the actual roles that immigrants from Asian countries and Asian Americans fill in American society and the ways that structural racism constrains those roles. Squares where this book could work for me: Spring Chicken; Made It Big; Free to Be You and Me; Life Unlike Your Own; Hot Topic. 

 

The Year of Living Danishly: My Twelve Months of Unearthing the Secrets of the World’s Happiest Country by Helen Russell: This British author and her husband move for a year to a seaside house in rural Denmark and contemplate why the people they meet claim to be so happy. They encounter all sorts of unfamiliar and kooky Danish traditions. She also finds herself confronting the deep and vast state reach into its citizens' lives -- which is so supportive (education; health care; work/life balance promotion) and also constraining (taxes; rules). Squares where this book could work for me: Spring Chicken; The Great Escape; Long Trip; Free to Be You and Me; Life Unlike Your Own; I Wonder; Side Splitter.

 

Oona Out of Order by Margarita Montimore: This is a light, breezy version of a time travel novel. In it, the main character lives her life jumping between years, all out of order. You could go deep and ask questions about whether you’d want to change events if you already knew the outcome, or you could just let easy books stay easy. Squares where this book could work for me: Spring Chicken; Out of Time; Free to Be You and Me. 

 

Foreign Affairs by Alison Lurie: This novel won the Pulitzer Prize in 1985, and I first read it in 1993. So this was a second go-round for me. The story focuses on two American professors as they embark on a sabbatical in London. It’s about roles and faking and hiding and acting and obscuring and crafting an image of yourself based on expectations. Squares where this book could work for me: Long Trip; Made It Big; Free to Be You and Me; Always Meant To.

 

The Magical Language of Others by E.J. Koh: This was an intensely powerful memoir of a Korean American young woman whose parents left her to fend for herself at age 14. She connects her personal experience of this trauma with the long history of trauma of her female relatives in Korea. This history alternates with actual letters her mother sent her during their separation. The letters are in multiple languages, and she explains how translation became part of her sense-making of her place in her own story. Squares where this book could work for me: Spring Chicken; Might Sting a Little; Free to Be You and Me; Truth Be Told.

See how easy Bingo is? Don’t overthink it. Just play! Please tell us about what you’re reading and which square(s) the book might fulfill. 

 

I will end by sharing one final question from a reader: What do I get if I do this? 

 

First of all, I appreciate your mercenary approach to Bingo. I’m guessing you want a pony. Unfortunately, I can’t afford postage on a pony. But if you play along, you might get some good conversation. You might make a new friend. You’ll get some camaraderie during a time of isolation. And one lucky whole-card-finishing participant will win a book at the end of the year. It might even be a book about ponies.

2021 Midlife Crisis Bingo

Hello, old bloggy friends! It’s been a while since I’ve written here, and I’m still working out what I’m going to do with this blog going forward. But speaking of old, I had a milestone birthday last year that didn’t get the attention it deserved because of the pandemic. I’m moving the birthday celebration to a later date, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t incorporate this Big Moment into my 2021 reading goals. I hope you’ll join me.

 

So, ta-da! I’ve created a Midlife Crisis Bingo game! If you’re not in midlife, or if you’re not experiencing a crisis, that’s OK. You can play anyway. To you, this will just be Bingo. Regular, age-doesn’t-matter, life-is-normal Bingo. I’m only a little bit jealous of you, but I will tuck that in. The whole point is to read together and talk about books together. I’ll update along the way with what books I’m using to complete the squares, and I’d love for you to do that, too. And if you complete your whole Bingo card, let me know, and I’ll enter you into a drawing to WIN a FREE BOOK at the end of the year. Reading buddies, good times, free books – what could be better? (OK, I acknowledge that there are lots of things that would be better – worry-free travel for one. Faith in our political leadership would be another. An end to the plague would also be nice. But all I can give you is Bingo. Sorry.)

 

The rules:

 

1)    Read books, following the topics however you interpret them. You can print out the card here.

2)    Share what you’re reading periodically if you want – I’ll have blog posts where you can talk about your reading life in the comments, or you can share your experiences on the Leaning Stack of Books Facebook page.

3)    Once you’ve completed a row, let us all know. We will clap for you!

4)    At the end of the year, if you’ve filled your whole square, you can enter a drawing to get a free book delivered to your home. It will be a good book.

5)    There are no more rules.

 

Here are the topics on the card:

 

Spring Chicken:

 

Kids these days are fresh and creative, and they help you solve your problems connecting to the internet. The world is in good hands. Read a book by an author younger than you are. (For many of us, this should be an easy task!)

 

Out of Time:

 

It seems like just yesterday that you were a teenager waiting impatiently for the thrill of adulthood. Now the sink is backed up, there’s a stack of bills to pay, and the child you’ve been nurturing all these years with your love and energy just called you “Karen” when you asked him to put his dirty socks in the hamper.

 

Today is kind of a bummer. Take this opportunity to read something about a time long ago. Or read about the future. Or both.

 

Group Dynamics:

 

You never get the front seat. There are so many secrets. Why didn’t she/he/they love you the way you deserve to be loved? You can’t stand to be apart, and you can’t stand to be together. Read a book about group life that makes you feel less alone, or one that reminds you about why you actually enjoy quarantine.

 

Buckle Up:

 

Sometimes the way forward involves crossing difficult terrain. Read a book that challenges you, or makes you look something difficult in the eye, or asks you to do hard work.

 

Impulse Buy:

 

Grab that book that you bought and then just left on your nightstand to gather dust. Make it one that has been on the stack for a long time, like a monument to your bad decisions.

 

Most Comfortable Sweatpants:

 

Sometimes you know what’s right for you. You have a great lane, and you should stay there. Read a book that is exactly the kind of book you love.

 

Might Sting a Little:

 

You carry your pain like a boulder in your backpack, wield it like a weapon, hide with it, nurture it, sleep with it, obsess over it, swallow it. Read a book about the human body and its capacity for hurt and healing, or a book about sticks and stones that broke some bones, or one about words that hurt. Or maybe read a book about a cure for what ails us. We sure need it!

 

Vintage:

 

Who’s calling you old? You are just getting started, baby. Take a moment to notice that having a midlife crisis is actually the luxury of a person with many years ahead! To put your age in perspective, read a book that was published before you were born.

 

The Great Escape:

 

So far, the new year feels like the last one. Time to read a book that is a great escape, or is about a great escape, or meaningfully interrogates the possibility of escape.

 

Long Trip:

 

Are we there yet? Come on, you are old enough to know that life is not all about the destination. Read a book that takes you on a ride or one that feels like a journey.

 

Made It Big:

 

Find a book that won a prize. Imagine that you actually wrote something that was recognized in that way, and feel the jealousy slide down your back like sweat in an awkward moment. But come on, now. You have done many wonderful things. Plus, you might win Midlife Crisis Bingo!

 

Hero and Sidekick:

 

Getting older makes you think about whether you’ve been the star of your own show. It might be time to become the hero, to put on your Big Girl Cape and make things happen. On the other hand, sidekicks are often played by character actors who have long and meaningful careers without needing to resort to cheek implants or drug addictions to get by. Maybe there’s value in a life in the shadows, where you have space away from the public gaze. Find a book about heroes, or about the person behind the scenes that makes everything work, or a book about a dynamic duo.

 

Free to Be You and Me:

 

For this square, read whatever you want. No one can tell you what to do. But wait…Is there really such a thing as a “free square?” Does freedom really exist? Who has it and why? How has the idea evolved? Will you lose it? Will you keep others from having it?

 

Life Unlike Your Own:

 

You have been staring at your own walls for the better part of the past year. Now is the time to look at someone else’s walls or walk in their shoes or wrestle their demons or eat the French fries off their plate.

 

Hot Topic:

 

You are not too old to put on your fancy pants and join the club. Everybody’s talking about it. Read the book, and find out what the fuss is all about.

 

Old Love:

 

Oh man, you know you can’t go back. Or can you?

 

Always Meant To:

 

Find a book you always meant to read or read again. The book is a reminder that you don’t follow through. So follow through! No more woulda, coulda, shoulda for this reader.

 

Delicious:

 

Put some flavor back in your life. You are still so mad that you couldn’t go to a fancy restaurant to celebrate your milestone birthday, and you’ve had the same takeout Thai food every week since March. You’ve eaten your way through the apocalypse food stash you built as the pandemic hit (Pringles!), and now everything is so boring. Make life taste better. Read that delicious thing.

 

I Wonder:

 

Have you wanted to be a better voter or sound worldly at cocktail parties or impress your friends or win at Trivial Pursuit or learn something about that topic whose class you stupidly slept through in college? Read a book that helps you be the smart guy in the room.

 

Get a Clue:

 

It’s time to figure this sh*t out before it’s too late. Read a book where you solve the problem, put the pieces together, or discover how one thing leads to another.

 

Out of Your Zone:

 

Read a book that makes you feel off-balance. It might turn out like that time that you did a high-ropes course in the 1990s, only to find out as you were dangling from a tree that you don’t like ropes or heights. But it also could change your life. Either way, you get a Bingo square before you return to bingeing Netflix. Win!

 

Side Splitter:

 

2020 was no joke. It’s time for some funny business! What kind of book makes you snort? Go find that. Or read a book about someone who had the last laugh.

 

Animal Magnetism:

 

It’s time to address the elephant in the room: you’re not getting any younger. You may try to weasel out of acknowledging your true age, but you know the cat is out of the bag. It’s probably time to get control of those vices before things completely go to the dogs. But hold your horses! Don’t despair! You don’t have to give up your rock n’ roll lifestyle cold turkey. Just slow down a bit.

 

Read a book about creatures great or small, real or imagined, or maybe about the wild animal in you. Get to it, crazy beast!

 

Outside:

 

You know that the nature will make you feel better, except you have a Zoom meeting at 9, 11, and 3. Let this book take you to a stunning place – feel it on your skin or between your toes. Or maybe the book will remind you that your couch is a lovely place to be after all.

 

Truth Be Told:

 

Does anyone tell the truth anymore? Can you believe what you read? This era has tested our ability to trust. Find a book where someone tells their truth, or find a book about lies, or one about secrets – or maybe a book that shows the value in multiple perspectives. And now that you’re getting older, what’s your truth? Could you ever share it? Would you?

 

 

Happy New Year, everyone! I look forward to spending this next one with you. Ready, set, GO!

 

 

 

Winter Nonfiction Roundup

I had a request from a reader for an update. I had planned to do a monthly update this year, but here it is March. March! How did that happen? I was sidetracked by the plague in January and by the snow in February and by our family’s first college touring trip (which of course is an existential journey for me, because how did I become the middle-aged woman with the questions about financial aid on those tours instead of the cool, twenty year old with all the dreams and the bright future? Also, my babies are going to leave home, and there aren’t enough potato chips in the world to fill that upcoming hole in my heart).

But I digress. While I haven’t been writing (except for updating on Goodreads, and you can follow me there if you want. My Goodreads feed updates on the sidebar of the blog), I have been reading a fair amount. Since the new year began, I’ve read five nonfiction books, so here’s my early spring nonfiction update. I will do a fiction update next.

My favorite piece of nonfiction so far this year has been Priestdaddy by Patricia Lockwood. Priestdaddy is a memoir by an adult daughter who moves home to live with her right wing, domineering Catholic priest father (yes, there’s a story there) and vaguely batty mother.  I don’t usually love memoirs by young people, because “back when I was a kid” should not be ten minutes ago. But this was an exception to that rule. I loved it!  It is at once a book about living with and in a complicated family ecosystem and living with and in Catholic culture (or probably any community culture). The author has a lot to say about being complicit – when you speak up and when you don’t, when you’re honest and when you’re not, and when you continue to affiliate and when you break away. Also, it was often laugh-out-loud funny.

I also read two books about food culture. I checked out both of these books for my son, who is writing a big paper about food culture for school. I go a little bonkers with my library card, as evidenced by my enormous late fines. My kids roll their eyes at how many piles of books I check out “for them.” I leave the books in tantalizing piles around the house, growing irritated as those piles go untouched. This time, my own hunger drove me to read Relish: My Life in the Kitchen by Lucy Knisley. Now that I think of it, Relish is another memoir, this time a graphic memoir of the author’s life growing up the daughter of a chef. I also read Buttermilk Graffiti: A Chef’s Journey to Discover America’s New Melting-Pot Cuisine by Edward Lee. This book is part travelogue, part culinary lesson, and part meditation on what it means to be an American.

Speaking of travelogues, I also read Our Towns: a 100,000 Mile Journey Into the Heart of America by James M. Fallows and Deborah Fallows. The authors do a version of William Least Heat-Moon’s Blue Highways trip, but this time in a single engine plane. They set out to evaluate the thesis that everything in America is terrible these days by travelling to small cities and towns that have reinvented themselves. They talk to civic leaders, local business people, and regular residents about the processes of change. And SPOILER: they find that there’s a lot of vibrant, engaged stuff happening, often across political, ethnic, and economic divisions. I liked this book, and it felt good to be hopeful. But I also wondered if a different set of questions would have led to a more complicated narrative in some of the places that the authors visited.

Finally, I read White Kids: Growing Up With Privilege in a Racially Divided America by Margaret A. Hagerman. Though it reads a bit more like a dissertation than other books I usually review, it is a compelling conversation-starter about how communities talk about race. The author follows 36 white kids in a midwestern metropolitan setting, hanging out with them in their homes, going with them to their extracurricular activities, and interviewing them and their parents. Hagerman points out the ways they talk indirectly about race as they perpetuate segregation (e.g. saying “diversity” when they mean Black) and how they negotiate the school system to their own advantage. If you want to look the idea of “social justice” in the eyes, this book might get you there.

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Coming up next on my spring nonfiction list is The Library Book by Susan Orlean and An American Summer: Love and Death in Chicago by Alex Kotlowitz.

How about you? What nonfiction have you been reading? Any recommendations?